i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
