Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
