she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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