I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
