Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
