3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
