I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
