Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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