That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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