i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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