I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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