Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
