Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
