so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Floor bacon is actually really good
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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