I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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