I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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