Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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