you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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