Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am naked and annoyed.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
