Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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