he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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