Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
