how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
