the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
