i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
