So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
