I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
