so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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