Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
