i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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