Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize