Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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