I wish I only lived at night.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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