that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
