it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
