I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
