You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
