I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize