My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize