ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
