If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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