I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
