life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
