He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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