ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
