ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize