Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
