Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
