I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Fuck appropriateness.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
