Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
