Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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