I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
