She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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