you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
