I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize