I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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