He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
