i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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