So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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