i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
