is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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