just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize