if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
